Hello, I’m Rosy
I strive to help women in their recovery from cancer to feel more empowered and to find clarity, confidence and control in their life. I have lived and worked with Cancer and know first hand the struggles and challenges life beyond cancer can be.
My Story
I am Rosy, When my 2 year old son got diagnosed with cancer our lives crashed down around us. I wished more than anything I could go through the journey for him. Take the upcoming battles he had to face away and fight them myself. I struggled with the lack of control I had over the diagnosis and road ahead; the fear and uncertainty about what we would have to go through. I worked as a Nurse Specialist in palliative care at the time, and I was well aware of the torment, horror and anguish cancer can bring onto a family. I told my 5 year old daughter that night that her brother had cancer, whilst trying to hold back tears and hide the extent of the fear and anger I was feeling. Trying to remain positive and hopeful as to not scare her too much. She was aware I looked after people who were dying of cancer and the first question she asked was the dreaded question no mother wants to hear from her child: “Will he die?”
The following few months would be a blur of scans, tests and operations to remove the tumour that was rapidly growing inside him. We juggled hospital visits, childcare and the hustle-bustle of family life with 2 young children, all whilst trying to stay positive for them though we remained terrified at our core. I had in my mind to take it 1 step at a time and not to automatically think the worst. The news finally came there was no sign that the cancer had spread after the final operation and he would not need any chemotherapy.
Fast forward a year after getting over some PTSD and starting to get back to normal life, the cancer returned, and this time he would need chemo. Again our lives reverted back to hospital stays, living in fear, several rounds of chemo, trying to manage his sickness and fatigue and keep as close to a ‘normal routine’ as we could for our daughter. The whole process was a blur. We went into automatic survival mode. I felt like I was the one having to hold it all together for my immediate and extended family, Because if I was ok and holding it together, everyone else could too. It was the hardest and most exhausting year of my life. Finally he finished his chemo and the scans and blood tests confirmed the cancer had once again gone. This time they were more confident the chemotherapy had got it all.
After returning to work I struggled with increased stress and anxiety. I had seen a councillor a few times and found little benefit. I wanted to move forward, not analyse the past. I turned to coaching and I can honestly say it changed my entire life. I started to be able to process my emotions and see a different perspective. I all of a sudden had a clearer awareness of my life. After working with a coach I became more confident, I was able to overcome most of the fear I still held onto. I was able to let go of the past and see how I could use my experience to create a brighter future. I was able to be a better mum and help my children process their feelings and experience. I had so many ‘lightbulb’ moments which changed how I looked at everything. I was able to not only move forward from overcoming cancer but also move on from other challenges I had faced and the insecurities I had previously.
Fast forward to today and I am more confident than I have ever been. I am able to move forward with increased clarity and awareness. I no longer feel overwhelmed and anxious about the road ahead. I do still feel a respectful apprehension about the future, of course. There will always be that feeling of ‘what if it comes back?’. But now I can breathe. I can take what I have learned and overcome and can say I have grown in myself, mentally and spiritually. I can confidently step into the uncomfortable and unknown. I have come out stronger, wiser and with more clarity and awareness of myself and life itself. I have seen that my place in life is helping others in a different way to nursing. Its to help people navigate their life after cancer. To use their experience to grow within themselves. I can show my Son that he survived cancer! Show him how strong and amazing he is. Inspire him to go through the challenges life throws at him with the same strength and courage that he had when he got through cancer. I can tell my daughter that she too is just as strong and powerful.
I could have lived the rest of my life in constant fear, questioning ‘why me’, feeling like the world was against me. But I made a choice to not let cancer define me. You too can do the same; decide the time to make that first step is now! You can come through this, you can grow and regain your power and flow just like I did. Cancer takes so much from us and has a hold over us for the rest of our lives, even when it is no longer in a cellular form. Don’t let the fear and trauma of what you went through define who you are. Don’t let cancer have the last word. This is your time to take control of your life and be the inspiration to your family, friends and other people going through cancer.